“Sensuality is definitely not synonymous with sex. However, sensuality can arouse sexual desire, lead to sex and heighten a sexual experience. Sensuality is an enjoyment of the pleasure we receive through our five senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Although each of these can be experienced in a sexual context, they can also be enjoyed in a totally non-sexual way.”

Five Tips for More Sensual Living

While sex is an essential part of a good relationship, the art of sensual living is lost on many couples. Arousing the senses purely for their own enjoyment, even if it doesn’t always lead to sex, keeps you tingling and makes your relationship more exciting.

Long, slow kisses, warm hugs and playful tickling usually come naturally to people who are in love. Yet, sometimes these things get lost when the kids lose their lunchboxes and the dishwasher breaks down. Life takes over, and married couples must make an effort to keep those sparks alive.

A great book with lovely illustrations that can help you create more intimacy and sensuality with your partner is The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers by Margo AnandIt is a book with many exercises that build up upon each other.  If you ever wondered how to begin doing Tantra or sacred sexuality with your partner this book would be it.


Here are some ideas to keep things more sensual:

  1. Learn to give a great sensual massage. Massage is a skill and there are plenty of fun techniques you can learn that will make your partner feel pampered. Add scented oils and lotions. Help your partner let go while you rub away the tensions of the day. A loving massage can be very healing and nurturing. It can also be very stimulating and erotic. Be playful and if it goes there, go for it.
  2. Touch your spouse. Hold hands or just brush up against him. Touch each other just because you can. Pick the right time so that it doesn’t get annoying! Often, the most subtle contacts can be the most electrifying. Let your partner feel your warm affection or a powerful jolt when your hand grazes his knee or your eyes lock.
  3. Make time for a sensual time. Serve up a plate of delicacies. Slowly and lovingly feed them to your partner. Blindfold each other for a really intense experience. Try warm chocolate or caramel…experiment with sight, taste, smell, and touch. Have fun!!!
  4. Visit an art gallery together. Slow down and appreciate the beauty of fine art. Immerse yourselves in the paintings and the artist’s vision. Talk about how they make you feel.
  5. Redecorate your bedroom. Put a vase of fresh flowers in front of the window. Deck out your bed in layers of plush fabric. Dim the lights or use lots of candles…that always work’s for me.

Sensuality and Intimacy

Make a date for sensual time. Sensuality helps keep a couple close and intimate. It can also set the mood for a heightened sexual experience. Shared pleasures can really help keep a couple connected through the good times and bad. Offer a sensual massage when your partner is recuperating from a big project. Slow dance in the kitchen when your song comes on the radio. Wear silk underwear. Eat by candlelight. Read poetry to each other. The perfect gift for your partner is real intimacy. Something that brings the two of you together in a way that money can’t buy.