What about Sex and Marriage?

When it comes to sex and marriage, I strive for ecstasy. And sometimes I even achieve it. When I look around me, I’m saddened to see that happy and fulfilling marriages elude many people. Depending on how you measure it, about half of all marriages in the US end in divorce. Even if couples stick together, who knows how alive and complete they really feel with each other. I see many couples who are disconnected and unsure how to get back to each other.

Maybe looking at our sensuality would help. How can we open up and talk more about sex? What holds us back from discussing our fantasies in bed? Is there training that can help us develop better communication skills?

I will be celebrating my 10-year wedding anniversary soon. I am amazed that through it all my marriage not only survives but thrives!

I wish I had all the answers. My husband and I work at our marriage. We make dates and try to pay attention to each other…sometimes it works and some romantic nights fizzle out. Like tonight. It’s 9 pm and my husband has already fallen asleep while our 9 year old daughter has been pooping in the bathroom for over a half hour.

My husband and I both engaged in extensive self-development work before we met and during our marriage. He has his men’s group and I have a couple of women’s groups that meet regularly. We also recently began attending a weekly experimental couple’s group that is loads of fun and gives us great tools for dealing with conflict.

What I do know is that to have a really good marriage it is very important to have balance in your life. The times I have been the least happy in my married life is when I did not personally have enough going on. Balance is key!

These are my suggestions for YOU to stay balanced:

Keep those girl friends close…there is nothing like a good friend you can call anytime. Pick one who totally gets you and supports you when your hubby is being an ass and you just want to scream.

At all times try to keep your sense of humor! Laughter is sexy.

Do something for yourself not related to your marriage and children. Create a business, make money, find rewarding volunteer work, become a writer or artist. Do something that makes YOU want to wake up every day.

Follow a healthy way of living to support your body and mind. Forget about diets. You’re looking for a lifestyle that will go the distance. That means a new way of eating and exercising (ugh) and a way to control those negative thoughts and create some peace upstairs. If you need tips on how to get fit, there will be much more info in this blog!

Take part in a women’s group…check out the Momma Talk section here for all the info to set one up.

Sex in Marriage

Pay attention to sex in marriage. Keep things fun, exciting and hot with hubby. Sex is more than a good time. It enhances intimacy, reduces stress and makes us feel desirable. Physical contact also helps us feel more connected with our partner.

Sex and marriage sometimes take hard work but it’s worth it. We can learn to express our emotions, describe our desires, share our secrets and negotiate boundaries. Look at how you and your husband resolve conflicts and provide each other with mutual support. Be open to accommodating each other’s needs and enriching your lives with more affection.

Stay tuned. There will be lots of information on how to fan those flames here at www.ShadesofMomma.com.